Dealing With Difficult People
By Dr. Gloria "Jo" Floyd
Part of a program presented at Castle Hills First Baptist Church in San Antonio Texas in a conference called From Here To Eternity -- A Day of Spiritual Growth, on September 25, 1999
Sponsored by the Women's Ministries and Single Adult Ministries
To deal biblically and positively with difficult people, conflict and situations try these approaches:
Communicate assertively not aggressively nor passive aggressively. Watch your words, behaviors and gestures.
Matthew 5:9 - "Blessed are the Peacemakers"
Ecclesiastes 7:19 - "Wisdom strengthens the wise more than ten mighty men which are in the city."
Be a team player at home and at work. Try to look for ways to make things better for everyone involved. Don't think selfishly.
Psalm 133:1 - "Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity."
Ascertain what the real difficulty is. Are you the culprit? Is your ego in the way? Are you EGO-Easing God Out?
Try not to be judgmental. We all have faults. All are faults.
Matthew 7:1-2 - "Judge not that ye be not judged ... And why beholdest though the mote that is in thy brothers eye, but considerest not the beam in thine own eye? Holy Bible, King James Version."
Adversity at Home
Realize that dealing with people often brings adversity and conflict. The bible tells us in
Matthew 10:34-39 - "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a man's foes shall be they of his household." King James Version.
Note that at home or work we are supposed to fix our eyes on God and love him more than anything in our world.
Realize that we were not promised everything with ease. We have been warned that we should beware of men. We should be reminded as in the midst of wolves; be ye therefor wise as serpents and harmless as doves. King James Version
We may have disputes with other but we should handle them well. Even when we are treated badly/wrongly by others we should turn the other cheek.
Matthew 5:38 - reminds us to "love our enemies"...That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue the... and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak, also ... Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. That you may be the children of your Father which is in heaven..." Matthew 5:39-45
Love Everybody In Spite of Their Behavior
Try to remember that most people do not get up each day looking to make us miserable even though it may seem that way.
People do hurt us. People are sometimes hard to deal with and hard to love. We can be the same way. So remember
Matthew 39: "Thou Shalt Love Thy Neighbor As Thy Self." King James Version
Don't Get Even -- Get God! Get Peace!
Let God work out all your problems with people. You don't need to worry about anything. God is in control. Nothing will happen to you except what he allows.
Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us to "Be Careful For Nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication and thanksgiving let your request be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds ... " King James Version
Don't Let Anything Mar Your Godly Walk in Life
When you have a problem dealing with another don't go off the limb. Pray. Fast. Be Still. Be Quiet. Rest in your assurance that God will take care. He knows your way out of any difficult situation.
Matthew 7:7 - promises that if to "Ask and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh, receiveth, and he that seeketh findeth and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. King James Version
The Golden Rule Still Applies
Sometime we want to be treated great but we fail to step into the shoes of the other person. If you want real blessings in dealing with others listen to the person, ask for clarification, don't be defensive, ask and remember as in the golden rule:
Matthew 7:12 - " ... Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." King James Version.
Let Your Word Be Real
Don't lie, lose integrity, steal or cheat if you want to have good relationships with people. Forgive those who wrong you. Smile don't frown. Say please, yes and thank you. You must be a correct user of words, not a gossiper or back stabber.. and Love a lot and you will get along well with other people.
Matthew 5:3-12 - reminds us that "Blessed are the merciful, ... the pure in heart ... the peacemakers ... the persecuted..."
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